1. I was born in Turkey thirty thousand years ago
I taught the women and the men the things that they should know

The patriarchs invaded, and I was forced to roam
I am an Ancient Matriarch a long way from my home

2. So I escaped to Brittany way up in northern France
I met some Gauls with hairy balls who thought they wore the pants
Until I had them brought to me inside my pleasure dome
I am an Ancient Matriarch a long way from my home

3. Across the channel I was called to help the Celts carouse
Where fungi flourished on the plops and droppings of the cows
In jest, I said, "Ingest these things" and thus the henge was stone(d)
I am an Ancient Matriarch a long way from my home (instrumental verse)

4. Tis then across the Irish Sea I boldly made my way
Where I was worshiped as a queen on each St. Brigit's day
Invading Brits disdained my tits and threw me from my throne**
I am an Ancient Matriarch a long way from my home

5. Amongst the Appalachians I then did take my stand
Likewise in Nova Scotia and up in New Foundland
In New Orleans them Voodoo queens embraced me as their own
I am an Ancient Matriarch a long way from my home (instrumental verse)

6. It's now in California this matriarch belongs
where ponchy bards in star trek garb sing ersatz Gaelic songs

Til Madam Péle calls me I shall no longer roam

I am an ancient matriarch a long way from my home
I am an Ancient Matriarch a long... way... from... my home

Artwork © Jessica Galbreth